New Address

hey :) i've decided to change to wordpress after much deliberation... to continue viewing please view http://lonez.wordpress.com/ .. thX :)

Should Promises Be Kept?

should promises made be kept no matter what?

Pretending To Be Someone We Are Not

caught "I Now Pronounce You, Chuck and Larry" last night with 2 friends... there was one phase which really caught my attention: "Its hard to pretend to be someone we aren't"... isn't it tiring and difficult to try and be someone that we are not? if it is, then why is it so many of us keep on trying to be someone we are not day after day, time after time...

we always try to be the person that people want us to be... ever since that day, i have not been myself... been miserable and too many problems kept appearing, and i had to keep on fighting against what i really felt, but im so tired of it... im so tired of having to keep pretending to be the person im not... im really tired... im mentally and physically exhausted... can i take a break from all this? will i be able to be myself once again?

I Dont Believe Anymore.........................

If you believe in it, then it is there...
If you dont believe in it, then it isn't there...
Unfortunately I no longer believe in it.............................

Trouble? Problematic? Complicated?

seems like i always fall for those who are trouble, problematic and complicated to say the least... at least, thats what most of my friends tell me... somehow they always have these bare characteristics... *sigh*

I Guess........................

I guess the movie date isnt going to happen... lets just take it that i never asked and drop the whole idea... not going to end up anywhere...

Way Back Into Love - Hugh Grant

Movie: Music and Lyrics
Artist: Hugh Grant
Song: Way Back Into Love

(Feat. Haley Bennett)

Haley:
I've been living with a shadow over head
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on

Hugh:
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
Ive been sitting aside time,to clear a little space in the corners of my mind

Chorus
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love

Haley:
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
Ive been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that its out there
Theres got to be something for my soul somewhere

Hugh:
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody to get me through the night
I could use some direction, and I'm open to your suggestions

Chorus
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
and If I open my heart to again
I guess I'm hopin' you'll be there for me in the end

Haley:
There are moments that I don't know if its real
or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration, not just another negotiation

Chorus
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I cant make it through without a way back into love
and If I open my heart to again
I guess I'm hopin' you'll be there for me in the end

Bogged Down by SO MANY Stuff

recently so many things have been happening and i haven yet have time to really sit down and think about it...

zouk was a memorable night, but i think something did happen on that night but i not sure what it was... maybe thats why things are like this now... but then again, i could be thinking too much again... how is it that things can seem to take a sudden twist, or am i thinking too much also... after so many attempts at relationships, i just want to give it a rest already... im too tired and i really dont want to feel the same way that i did the last time and i dont want to keep getting the wrong signal anymore... i get too emotional... and thats something i want to get out of... when i first thought of the nick Lonezstar, it was because i knew what it meant and i always thought that its true... and look what its proven... can i just drop the whole idea and just stop myself from falling again? lets see if anything happens during these few days before i decide on anything... from there i shal see how to proceed...

i think i have said this many times before... I MISS MY OLD SELF!!! THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY ME!!! THE ONE WHO NO MATTER WHAT WILL WEAR A SMILE ON HIS FACE!!! THE ONE WHO WILL NEVER LOSE HIS COOL!!! I WANT MY OLD SELF BACK!!! is it too much to ask??????

when i see my frenz feeling down, i cant help but feel the same for them and i end up making myself miserable as well... especially when i see my close friends getting bogged down my r/s problems, by sch work, by work at the office etc... sometimes i wish there was more that i could do... but all i can do is try to understand what they are going through and offer some words of comfort...

im now stuck with considering if i should really work or should i just concentrate on my studies... i really need the cash but im also scared that my studies will be affected... there's no one in my fam who is able to help me with my current course... and the rest are just too busy and i dont feel like bothering them since it has nothing to do with them...

i really need some time to clear my thoughts and sort things out once and for all... hopefully the old me will be back soon... hopefully.....................

M00dy m00dY m00D M00d

feeling so moody now... wanted to go out just now with some friends, but at the last moment when everything was confirm, i decided not to go and opted to stay at home instead... *sigh* whats happening to me again? zZzZzZzZzzzz...

these past 3 days i have been doing some thinking... i still cant figure out if she has good feelings towards me or not... i keep getting mixed feelings about it, and the advice given by close friends are also different from one another... i know i should look into my heart and decide if she's really interested or not, but i just cant put a finger to it... *sigh again*

haven seen her online for the past 3nights... i miss talking to her on msn... i wish i could talk to her on the phone or sms her... but i just cant think of an excuse to start a conversation =( hopefully will get to see online or go out together soon bahx...

Jesse McCartney - Just So You Know

Just So You Know - Jesse Mccartney



I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:] J
ust so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
[Chorus]

A Chance?

well... i never thought i would be happy to see a friend breakup, but when i heard from her that she has already broken up with her boyfriend last night, i was pretty much over the moon... it immediately lifted up my mood... maybe everything isnt too late after all... and furthermore, she ask me if im free to accompany her go club... i was like "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"... damn happy i say... but there was one problem, i dont like clubbing... i dont hate it, but i just dont like to club... too noisy and very difficult to talk... but then for her sake and for my sake, after much deliberation i decided to go after finding a fren to go with me... haha...

yea... so im back home from zouk... was pretty ok cept for the fact that it was full house and practically everyone was squeezing for space and no one really had space to dance... we didnt get a chance to dance as well... anyway, sent her home right to her door step if u can call it that, den took a cab home myself...

i dont know if i stand a chance or not... sometimes she gives a positive feeling like asking me to accompany her club when we haven gone out together before... and sometimes she gives me a negative feeling, something like being cold... im also not very sure... but she could be like what my friend told me, she's the super friendly type... i also dont know

I Guess This Would Be The End

well i suppose this is the end of another wishful thinking story on my part... i thought that everything was going so smoothly... so wonderful, but i should have known better... happiness doesnt last for me... so this will teach me not to hope for anything and to not believe in it =)

Jesse McCartney: Why Don't You Kiss Her

JESSE MCCARTNEY
"Why Don't You Kiss Her"



Were the best of friends
And we share our secrets
She knows everything that is on my mind
But lately somethings changed
As I lie awake in my bed
A voice here inside my head
Softly says

Why don't you kiss her
Why don't you tell her
Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cuz she'll never know
If you never show
The way u feel inside

Oh im so afraid to make that first move
Just a touch and we
Could cross the line
And everytime she's near
I wanna never let her go
Confess to her what my heart knows
Hold her close

Why don't you kiss her
Why don't you tell her
Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cuz she'll never know
If you never show
The way u feel inside

What would she say
I wonder would she just turn away
Or would she promise me
That she's here to stay
It hurts me to wait
I keep asking myself

Why don't you kiss her
Why don't you tell her
Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cuz she'll never know
If you never show
The way u feel inside

Why don't you kiss her (tell her you love her)
Why don't u tell her (tell her you need her)
Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cuz she'll never know
If you never show
The way you feel inside...