Bogged Down by SO MANY Stuff

recently so many things have been happening and i haven yet have time to really sit down and think about it...

zouk was a memorable night, but i think something did happen on that night but i not sure what it was... maybe thats why things are like this now... but then again, i could be thinking too much again... how is it that things can seem to take a sudden twist, or am i thinking too much also... after so many attempts at relationships, i just want to give it a rest already... im too tired and i really dont want to feel the same way that i did the last time and i dont want to keep getting the wrong signal anymore... i get too emotional... and thats something i want to get out of... when i first thought of the nick Lonezstar, it was because i knew what it meant and i always thought that its true... and look what its proven... can i just drop the whole idea and just stop myself from falling again? lets see if anything happens during these few days before i decide on anything... from there i shal see how to proceed...

i think i have said this many times before... I MISS MY OLD SELF!!! THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY ME!!! THE ONE WHO NO MATTER WHAT WILL WEAR A SMILE ON HIS FACE!!! THE ONE WHO WILL NEVER LOSE HIS COOL!!! I WANT MY OLD SELF BACK!!! is it too much to ask??????

when i see my frenz feeling down, i cant help but feel the same for them and i end up making myself miserable as well... especially when i see my close friends getting bogged down my r/s problems, by sch work, by work at the office etc... sometimes i wish there was more that i could do... but all i can do is try to understand what they are going through and offer some words of comfort...

im now stuck with considering if i should really work or should i just concentrate on my studies... i really need the cash but im also scared that my studies will be affected... there's no one in my fam who is able to help me with my current course... and the rest are just too busy and i dont feel like bothering them since it has nothing to do with them...

i really need some time to clear my thoughts and sort things out once and for all... hopefully the old me will be back soon... hopefully.....................